


Gills

by Nickie



Category: One Piece
Genre: Blood, M/M, Nightmares, Psychological Horror, Sea-longing, Smut, but short, kinda Sanji focused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickie/pseuds/Nickie
Summary: Sanji slowly loses himself after a nightmare.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	Gills

The knife is way too big in Sanji’s hand, the kid’s fingers curled around the handle to the point of growing white but he keeps a determined hold on the tool. His other hand tries to keep the fish on the wooden cutting board, but it won’t stop flicking its tail back and forth in a flight attempt. The kid whines but only for a second, when a big hand rests on his shoulder.

“There are three steps to killing the fish in a most humane way” bellows Zeff, his strong hold on Sanji’s shoulder getting looser before he removes his hand altogether. “You need to hit it on the head first. Use the knife’s handle”

Sanji looks up at the older man trustfully; he’s nervous about his first lesson on fish filleting, especially because Zeff wouldn’t let him work on a dead fish. ‘You need to know how to do all’ the old chef smacked him on the head before ordering Patty to bring a fresh, alive fish to the kitchen.

The kid takes a deep breath, his little fingers squeezing the flipping fish in place as his other hand raises the knife in the air. He can see his reflection in the fish’s eye, full of sea and blue, almost like his own, and he hesitates.

“Little eggplant” Zeff’s voice is calm but Sanji knows the laced-in impatience all to well so he closes his eyes tightly as his hand aims down for a blow, wooden handle colliding with flesh. The kid flinches at the terrible, wet sound, but Zeff’s groan at the side sobers him up immediately. One eye at a time, he opens them and inspects the aftermath, scared that he’s in for a scolding, judging by Zeff’s sounds. It’s eerily quiet though, a little bit of blood dripping from Sanji’s knife down onto the cutting board in irregular drops. The kid turns to the head chef bravely, ready to face any type of berating, but instead he lets out a groan of his own.

“What happened?!” Sanji shrieks when he sees Zeff wiping off his forehead, red staining the back of his palm. The blood keeps trickling down his temple in a narrow stream, a stark contrast to the white toque on top of his head. Zeff glances at his hand briefly before his eyes land on Sanji again and the kid cowers visibly.

“Continue” he says, hand moving to the fish as if nothing’s happened. Sanji blinks his round eyes and stares incredulously at the metal spike held in the chef’s hand, now smeared with his blood. “Use this to pierce the brain. It will be quick and painless for the fish”

The child looks at the tool passed to him, wood and metal coloured red from Zeff’s blood. Sanji’s hand shakes heavily; it suddenly feels too overwhelming, like the walls are closing in on him and the tool in his hand is burning, not meant to be touched by him. But Zeff repeats an insistent “continue” over his head, the voice bouncing off the walls as if they’re not in the kitchen, but in the middle of a barren room.

“Locate the brain” Zeff explains in a calmer tone, glad when Sanji steps towards the fish again and looks at the creature fearfully. “Then pierce through”

“I don’t...” Sanji starts but Zeff guides the kid’s hand so that the spike aims at the fish’s head, ready to be pushed inside. Sanji feels like he’s about to faint, the sweat forming at his temple trickling down his face and reminding him about the blood flowing down Zeff’s head. He wants to step back and run away but he also knows that Zeff wouldn’t be too happy about it so instead he just tightens his hold on the spike and pierces it into the fish’s brain. It convulses only for a brief second before going completely still.

Sanji breathes deeply, staring at the immobile fish and waiting for next orders from the ship’s head chef.

But there’s nothing.

The kid turns around slowly, scared of what he might see, and comes face to face with a completely paralysed Zeff, staring off and barely breathing. Like a statue, he doesn’t move even an inch and Sanji finds himself just as frozen, but in pure terror. He turns to the fish, looking as lifeless as his teacher, and he jumps onto it, trying to shake it back into life, when Zeff’s croaking voice reaches his ears.

“Continue...”

The kid’s heart beats out of his chest and into his throat, or maybe it’s a bile that’s growing up his stomach. Sanji can’t tell, barely seeing anything through the tears collecting in his eyes.

“Please” the boy shakes his head, bent over the fish and begging it for mercy. It only stares at him with round, bottomless eyes, accusing him of its death.

“The gills...” Zeff croaks again, his breath nothing but a wheeze. Sanji takes a moment to collect his thoughts and calm down his breathing before his hand reaches out blindly for a knife. Feeling the fish carefully with his fingers, he locates the throat latch and puts the sharp blade over there. Still not able to see much through the tears, he pushes the blade in and feels the blood pouring down his fingers. It’s warm and it’s cold and it’s scalding hot and Sanji just keeps going, moving the knife under the fish and slicing it open, cutting and pulling and crying in between, his small fingers acting for his eyes.

A deep breath in makes him realise he’s been acting in a trance, just doing without thinking, so he brings his hands up and wipes at his eyes urgently. He’s getting dirty all over his face with blood, but at least he can finally see how he’s done. A shrill scream leaves his throat when he notices that it wasn’t a fish, but Zeff who’s on the table, cut open and disembowelled by his own two hands, fish-like eyes staring at him accusingly.

Sanji wakes up with a start, gasping and sweaty before he rushes out and throws up over the ship’s rail. He looks down at his trembling hands, the image of Zeff’s blood still fresh in his head.

He doesn’t sleep more that night.

The next day Nami is the first one to bring up the topic as everyone gathers at the dining table, chatting and joking around as usual.

“Sanji, are you trying out new recipes?” she asks gently, peeking at the cook who observes them carefully from the bar stool. Luffy groans, having tried every dish on the table, and looks at Sanji as well.

“Where is meat, Sanji?!” the captain whines even more, but it doesn’t stop him from stuffing himself with more food. Sanji seems to be thinking for a while before he lights up another cigarette and puffs out the smoke.

“Yes” he answers Nami’s question curtly, eyes downcast and hidden behind his bangs. Robin chimes in with her soothing voice.

“It’s actually a splendid idea. It’s considered a healthy diet when you find a perfect balance. I am sure our cook knows what he’s doing” she offers with a smile, much to everyone’s agreement. Luffy screams about meat again but Nami silences him with a well-measured punch and the dinner ends peacefully. Zoro waits at the table before everyone else leaves, just looking at Sanji’s back as he busies himself with the dishes. After such a long time in each other’s presence he can very easily spot the tense shoulders, so he stands up from the table to investigate. Sanji doesn’t even look at him when he comes closer and keeps staring.

“I don’t know if you’re aware of how creepy you are right now, stupid swordsman” Sanji hisses but there’s no usual bite behind his tone. Cocking an eyebrow up, Zoro reaches and pushes the bangs away from Sanji’s face and behind his ear carefully, some of the hair escaping back over his eye stubbornly. “I didn’t sleep well. It’s all” Sanji answers the unspoken question, knowing that his lover could read through him. Zoro lets his fingers stay behind Sanji’s ear, rubbing a spot there gently, before he drops it and reaches for a cloth, dropping the subject and instead helping Sanji.

Days and weeks pass by and the crew stays on a meat-free diet. Sanji makes sure all of the dishes are well-balanced and nutritious and make up for any shortage the lack of meat may create. Luffy whines every dinner, begging Sanji for the smallest piece of meat, even a bite, but Sanji stays unwavering. The crew grows a bit worried, wondering if maybe Sanji is pranking them or testing out how long they can go on if they run out of meat supplies in the middle of the ocean.

The cook himself grows thinner, his eyes sporting dark circles underneath and his skin turning grey. It’s not much of a difference for any onlookers, but his friends notice he’s never eating with them.

Luffy’s too eager when they finally reach an island and he jumps into the water before they even sail into the port. Usopp jumps in after screaming in panic and pulls their captain to the shore, scolding him when he laughs without a care as always. His eyes turn round and bright when he remembers his plan and he pulls Usopp with himself, screaming about finally eating meat. Sanji watches the scene from the ship, gnawing on the cigarette butt and scratching at his forearm nervously. There’s another presence next to him and he hides his arm under the sleeve.

“Our captain will be alright” Robin speaks softly but it only fuels Sanji’s anxiety more. She glances at him carefully, offering him a smile. “You will, too”.

The crew spends the whole day in town, shopping and eating and talking with the villagers about the wonders of their island. Instead of the market like usual, Sanji walks down the beach and enjoys the breeze, keeping his pace until he reaches a more secluded area, where he can stay by himself.

Away from everyone else, Sanji floats on the sea water, eyes closed and face turned to the warm sun rays. The constant dull buzzing in his ears underwater sounds so soothing, as if he’s home, cosy and warm and protected. Soft waves push his body in the slightest like a baby in its cradle. It all feels surreal yet so natural to him that no other place than the sea feels so close to his inner child.

A looming figure covers the sun but Sanji doesn’t open his eyes, knowing full well who this is. Zoro pushes Sanji’s body gently with the waves closer to the shore, but he stops him when he feels grains of sand rubbing on his shoulder blades. He wants to stay in the water a bit longer.

Zoro tilts his head curiously but Sanji stays unmoving, relaxed with his eyes closed, his expression telling the green-haired man that he is on the verge of falling asleep. Bones poking out under his skin a bit more than usual, he still looks strong and glowing with the water droplets reflecting the light off of his skin and gold strands forming a halo around his head. Overwhelmed by the sight, Zoro bends down to kiss Sanji on the lips, tasting the salty water as he cradles his lover’s head with a hand underneath. The cook kisses him back immediately, weighing nothing with Zoro’s arms wrapped securely around his shoulders before he finds his place in between Sanji’s legs.

The kiss gets more heated, guided by Sanji who threads his fingers between Zoro’s short hair, pulling at it and whining, hips already thrusting in the water helplessly. Surprised to see such open eagerness from Sanji, yet not hating it, Zoro breaks the kiss much to his lover’s disappointment. He knows it all too well that if they stay right here and continue, Sanji won’t be too happy – and will of course put the blame on Zoro, even though the man doesn’t even care where they do it. For the sake of his own sanity though, he hooks one arm under Sanji’s knees and reaches for his shoulders in an attempt to lift him up and move to the beach for more privacy but Sanji stops him quickly with a strong hold on his biceps, nails digging in.

“No”

His eyes are dark, filled with want but there’s also the persistent shadow of something else. It’s raw and strange to Zoro, like a mix of desperation, fear and tenacity, now laced with desire. It’s off-putting, yet hypnotising, and Zoro cannot ignore the commanding tone so instead he puts his hands in the wet sand on either side of Sanji’s waist, head dipping down to kiss his chest barely sticking above surface. The cook melts in his hold immediately again, with his eyes closed and neck strained to the back. His whole body is hot and the stark contrast with chilly water seems to be raising goosebumps on his skin. Urgently, Sanji reaches towards Zoro’s swimming trunks and pulls at the waistband at the back.

It’s all so unexpected and different from Sanji’s usual behaviour. The ship’s cook usually prefers it slow and romantic, a total opposite of Zoro’s hasty and somewhat barbarous ways in bed. He’s learnt to enjoy it though, with Sanji’s guidance, and realised how much better it is if he controls himself and actually listens to his lover. Now it’s all flipped upside down, with Sanji grabbing onto him desperately in the middle of the beach, and Zoro is confused. What’s gotten into him?

“It’s gonna hurt” Zoro sends Sanji a quizzical look but the other man wraps arms around his nape and pulls him down into another passionate lip lock. The blond man’s hips rut up in the air, brushing occasionally against Zoro’s stomach and letting him know just how needy he is right now. Against his better judgement, and not used to being the brain when they have sex, Zoro takes the trunks off Sanji’s body and strokes his inner thighs, hands moving in and out of the water. Sanji shivers visibly, knees trembling and a whine leaves his lips. “Hey” Zoro tries to bring Sanji’s attention again when his finger ghosts over Sanji’s entrance. He really doesn’t want to hurt his lover and as far as he knows, water doesn’t work as a sufficient lubricant. But Sanji seems lost in ecstasy, hands grabbing onto the wet sand under the water as he arches his back and rubs onto Zoro again and again.

“Continue” he says finally, in the same demanding voice, although this time it’s whinier and needier than earlier. Cheeks red and eyes half-lidded, he looks like he is sporting a fever and Zoro wants to reconsider the idea of continuing but Sanji looks like he’s about to explode in his arousal if Zoro doesn’t give in. Having gotten undressed and positioned at Sanji’s entrance, hands on his inner thighs, Zoro looks carefully for any sign of hesitance ghosting over his lover’s face but finds none, so he proceeds to push in almost to the half.

It’s uncomfortable and illogically dry, even though they are both dipped in the sea, but Sanji’s face contorts in pleasure, with only a thin layer of pain underneath it all. He encourages Zoro to continue, with grabbing hands and legs tightly looped around his waist. Soon, Zoro complies, moving very slowly at first, but the desire that seemed to have consumed Sanji only screams more and more and pushes Zoro closer and closer, thighs squeezed at his sides and fingers clawing onto his shoulder blades. Like a wild animal in heat, Sanji ruts and pushes back into Zoro’s thrusts, the waves licking at his skin, at his achingly hard erection and he can’t stay quiet. Zoro kisses him, one part of him sorry because he is sure it must hurt Sanji, and the other part scared someone might actually hear them and he will be the one to blame, no matter the fact that Sanji insisted.

It seems to have pushed the cook over the edge because his whole body is tensing and his heels dig deep into Zoro’s lower back. Without touching himself he comes in between them, gasping for air and trembling heavily. The swordsman can’t have enough of this sight. He’s never seen his lover like that – totally spent, writhing underneath him like an eel in his post orgasm elation. When he looks into his eyes with that dark ferocity, Zoro comes as well, buried deep inside of Sanji. They both catch their breaths, with Zoro’s hand underneath Sanji’s head to make sure he doesn’t get under the water, and when he tries to get them out of there, Sanji stops him once again.

So Zoro stays, letting Sanji close his eyes and enjoy the gentle waves before he finally falls asleep with his cheeks rosy and a satisfied smile on his lips. This time Zoro succeeds and carries Sanji out of the water, feeling weirdly uncomfortable about doing so.

They are back on the cruise once more after leaving the island, looking for another place to stop by and ready for adventures. The crew keeps a careful eye on their cook but he seems to be acting normal, apart from the sudden diet change for the whole ship and his skinny body only getting skinnier. He waves it off when Chopper finally brings it up, and tells their doctor that he’s not sleeping well these days. The reindeer quickly hops onto a stool and looks through his shelf, before offering Sanji some pills.

“They should help you calm down and sleep. But don’t take too many!” Chopper raises his hoof up warningly. Sanji looks at the glass container from all sides carefully and then smiles at the doctor with a nod. “When you’re out, come for more”

It’s one night when Zoro spots Sanji propped against a rail, staring down instead of up at the clear sky like he would predict. Curious, he moves closer and takes a spot next to the other man, facing the other direction and leaning on his elbows on top of the rail.

“Can’t sleep?” the swordsman asks finally, still not looking at Sanji. The cook keeps his gaze low, staring at the stark black sea underneath them like it’s the most enticing place in the whole world. Zoro finally cocks his head to the side, noticing just how much sunken his lover’s face has become. His eyes travel over Sanji’s posture and Zoro spots a little bottle in the man’s shirt pocket before the cook speaks up.

“I had a dream”

Zoro moves closer, Sanji’s voice barely a whisper.

“Hm? A dream?”

The blond man raises his gaze finally, blue eyes searching for Zoro’s for a while anxiously before he leans over the rail again and glues his gaze back to the sea.

“Forget it” he says and pulls out a cigarette.

Sanji grows more and more distant towards everyone on the ship. Chopper explains to everyone very discreetly that it can be a side effect of the drug he gave Sanji some time ago. He should be feeling better in a few days, Chopper adds confidently and everyone agrees to treat Sanji as usual. It won’t do any good if they suddenly start walking on eggshells around him. Zoro feels there’s more lying underneath the problem, but he’s not usually the one to inquire so he stays put for now.

The cook enters the bathroom hurriedly, scratching at his arm through the sleeve insistently, the itching just not going away. He locks the door behind himself and shrugs off the jacket. Having rolled up the sleeve, he turns on the tap with cold water before inspecting the area.

The skin around his elbow and down his lower arm presents to be patchy and dry, as if he’s grown an additional layer on top. It’s weird to the touch, rough and scratchy, but with a nasty slime-like texture at some spots. Whenever he rubs it with his fingernails it flakes off in big chunks, revealing pinkish layer underneath. Sanji furrows his brow when he puts his fingers deeper into it and pulls out a little piece of skin harder than the others. It’s nearly of a regular form and seems to be reflecting light, almost like a-

“FISH!”

Luffy’s loud voice startles Sanji, followed soon by an insistent knock on the door.

“Sanji? Are you there?” Nami sounds truly worried and Sanji puts the jacket on quickly, deciding to just forget about what he’s just seen. The red-headed navigator gives him a compassionate once over when he emerges before pointing to the deck. “Luffy’s going crazy”

“GIVE ME MEAT!” the captain screams on top of his lungs with a crazed look on his face, throwing a barrel in the general direction of Franky and Usopp. The cyborg catches it easily and Usopp shouts back at Luffy to try and calm down. “FISH! MEAT! I NEED MEAT!”

Sanji arrives at the spot and Luffy aims for him next, screaming and running quickly. In the last moment, Robin’s hands sprout out of the deck and catch Luffy mid-jump, the boy hissing and thrashing in the hold. The cook looks at his captain’s outburst rooted to the spot, unable to move an inch of his body.

“Just cook it for him finally!” Usopp shouts pleadingly, unable to look at Luffy’s current mental state. Sanji looks around, feeling pairs of eyes staring at him, judging, expecting, all wanting him to murder, to kill for their pleasure. His whole body trembles and he drops down, curling up like a child, face hidden in his palms as he continuously shakes his head.

“I can’t! I can’t, I can’t, please, I can’t do it” he pleads over and over much to everyone’s shock and even Luffy seems to be calmer, not fighting against Robin’s hold any more. Zoro steps in then, covering Sanji’s body with his own and looking at them all accusingly before he calls Chopper over and they move Sanji to the infirmary.

A few days later, Zoro walks into the kitchen, sure that if there’s one place Sanji has to be in, it’s the kitchen. But it’s eerily empty and, much to Zoro’s surprise, left unclean. Already suspicious at the sight of stained cupboards and greasy plates in the sink, the swordsman walks deeper into the room to check the pantry, but there’s no sign of the cook anywhere. He catches a sight of a few small glass containers next to the sink and he takes one to inspect the contents, only to find it empty like all the others.

“Hey” Zoro calls out but his voice bounces off the walls with no answer. He hears some weird noises, however, coming right to his side. The service elevator. It leads into the aquarium bar below, allowing them to pass the food directly from the kitchen to downstairs. It’s nothing louder than irregular, dull thudding but Zoro supposes that’s where the cook must be hiding.

If his head wasn’t throbbing this heavily, he would have been there must faster, Zoro concludes as he enters the narrow hall surrounding the aquarium bar. The headache seems to be blurring his vision gradually, but even with that and through the glass walls filled with water he can make out the silhouette of Sanji. The man is staring at the fish longingly, knees propped on the couch for a closer look at the sea life.

Zoro stops at the entrance, breathing heavy just like his whole body. Sanji finally acknowledges his presence, a deer caught in the headlights before his expression softens up when he notices the state his lover’s in. The green-haired man hisses in a trembling breath, barely keeping himself up with a shoulder pressed into the threshold desperately.

That’s when he notices the knife in Sanji’s hand.

“What...” Zoro mumbles and stares at the emotionless face of the other man. “The fuck are you doing” his eyes narrow as Sanji’s wavering body seems to be getting closer. Or maybe he is just seeing things at this point, what with the fogging up pain in his head. Soon, Sanji is right up at his face, boring holes into him. He looks so fragile, the nearly translucent skin stretched out taut on his prominent features. Muzzy blue eyes filled with determination but oh so scared. Terrified. Zoro finally understands why the whole ship is so freakishly silent.

Sanji must have added something to their food.

“Bastard...” the swordsman keeps standing on his two feet stubbornly, even though they feel like two match sticks supporting the weight of a rock. Zoro reaches out for Sanji’s upper arm and squeezes it, the glint of the kitchen knife’s blade causing him to flinch. Sanji looks like he wants to say something but he is out of his words, lips opening and closing like a fish gasping for air out of water. In the end he only raises his other hand poising the knife, sharp blade pointed at Zoro who tries his best to pull out his own katana but his clammy fingers serve no grip. He can only think about protecting his friends, even if it’s from Sanji, his lover, the one he couldn’t save, he has to save them, he needs to survive-

Sanji turns the knife around and presses it to the spot right underneath his own jaw before sliding it horizontally in a neat line almost up to his Adam’s apple. Zoro shrieks before his body gives out completely and he drops down to the floor with a thud, staring at Sanji clutching onto his neck, blood pouring through his fingers.

“No...” Zoro grabs onto the cook’s leg but he kicks him away, regaining his composure and repeating the same thing on the other side of his neck, way messier with his trembling hand and copious amount of blood loss. Zoro finds himself paralysed, eyes following the two bloody makeshift gills. “Cook” Zoro tries again but Sanji kicks him in the jaw, with considerably less strength than usual, yet it’s enough to render the swordsman speechless in his current state. The blond-haired man breathes heavily, red dripping down steadily in splatters when he drags himself out of the room.

Zoro rolls himself onto his back, not sure how long he’s going to stay awake with whatever the cook added to their dinner. He’s overwhelmed with grief, regretting that he wasn’t able to save Sanji from those haunting thoughts, from the dreams that he mentioned to him once but he didn’t ask about. His head turns to the side, eyes staring at the door and he screams at himself internally before pushing himself up on trembling arms. Breathing as if he’s run a mile, Zoro crawls towards the exit, his unmoving legs dragged after him and smearing Sanji’s blood on his clothes. The doorknob is right there, and his wet fingers keep sliding on it, unable to turn it, when his ears catch a splash from behind him.

Sanji’s body drops down the aquarium slowly, leaving a red trail behind as he descends lower and lower. Zoro gives up on his plan and pulls himself to the glass instead, eyes stinging with how upset he is. His arms give out under him pretty soon though and he is on the floor once more, his mind swimming with Sanji, coming in and out of consciousness. The cook looks morbidly calm, almost happy with a slight curve to his lips as he floats in the reddish water surrounded by curious sea life. Zoro watches through half-lidded eyes and he finally notices – how round and glossed over Sanji’s eyes look, like a fish’s that’s about to give out it’s last breath. Those eyes turn to him, palm pressed to the glass wall in between them and Zoro loses his consciousness just after reading Sanji’s lips.

**“I am so happy right now”**

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always welcome ♥ you can find me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/ficnicks)


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